The Welcome Home Post

So I hope everyone had a safe trip home and is now with their friends and families enjoying all the holiday festivities and all that shit. My trip home was interesting, got stuck in Detroit for a little while, that was minorly unpleasant, but not half as bad as the trip back to Cornell from home; crying baby, vomiting seat mate, and a raging hangover. But anyway my friends all had great stories to share, so the blog will hopefully have enough steam to get itself through break.

1. If the fire alarm goes off and you don’t have a shirt on, put one on, the same goes for shoes; especially if it is 3:30 AM and below zero degrees outside.
2. All the free newspapers that various people on college campuses try to shove down your throat… keep one handy it can be put up as an instant shield against awkward moments that is even more effective at minimizing the likely hood of an awkward encounter than pretending to talk on your cell phone.
3. If a professor calls you up in front of your lecture of 300 people it is not a good time to try and be a comedian.
4. Shower shoes are like condoms… they keep you from developing suspicious rashes.
5. Just because your parents aren’t here and you can eat ice cream for breakfast doesn’t mean you should.
6. Before you put on a jacket you wore out the night before make sure you check the pockets for things like flasks, beer cans, or condom wrappers.
7. Drinking 4 mountain dews and a monster is not an effective way to study… it just makes you jittery
8. If you are kind enough to allow a drunk person to sleep in your bed be forewarned that they are far more likely to involuntarily urinate.

So there you have it, my last post from college for a while. I will no longer be writing these posts from my overly high lofted bed between intermittent interruptions from my roommate (just kidding roomie) but from my nice comfy bed at home, with all the privacy in the world. I hope everyone’s break goes well and that they get to relax after finals, as always email is thingsilearnedincollege@hotmail.com, and like us on facebook if you like us… like if you like us in like real life… its like that you know