So I hope everyone had a really good Christmas and would like to wish everyone a happy Boxing Day (look it up)… If you are Jewish I hope Hanukah went well, if you are a Seinfeld fan I hope you had a nice Festivus. If I forgot any holidays please don’t sue me, just email me at thingsilearnedincollege@hotmail.com. Christmas at the Trillium household was insane as usual… uncle Bob pulled the pull my finger trick, I started a small fire, there was a major model train derailment, and mom got mad because I brought her crushed pineapple instead of pineapple rings… all that shit was the same I thought, crushed just happened to be cheaper so I picked up two cans. But anyway this weeks post is all about Christmas so I hope you enjoy it.
- Giving your dad that tie you found at a frat party as a Christmas present is not classy.
- Bonging eggnog then beer after eating a full Christmas dinner can result in some interesting vomit.
- Sledding drunk is painful… but at least you will get some good stories
- Warm leftover keystone does not make a good stocking stuffer
- Christmas ornaments can be used as a festive substitute for ping pong balls in a game of beer pong
- The most fun you can have around the holidays involves defiling Christmas themed lawn ornaments.
- Having a party the day before Christmas eve and using the turkey to bowl down cans of food might make your mother angry.
- If your mom sends you too the store for cranberries and you come back with chips and beer, she won’t be happy with you.
- Highlight this post if you want to learn the horrible truth Santa is not real :(
Happy holidays everyone, party hard and tell me about it when you ring in the new year!
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